Self-Introduction Letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Andy Lam, a Year 1 engineering student in your
"Critical Thinking & Communicating" module. I wanted to take this
opportunity to share a little bit about myself.
For the past four years, I’ve volunteered for an organisation
every Saturday teaching English, math, and occasionally science to children in
my neighbourhood and afterwards, during my free time I would either go to the
gym, play computer games, or just start watch a movie on the television with my
dad.
I might be one of the older students in the class, having
spent two years earning a NITEC certificate in aerospace technology at ITE
(2017-2018), followed by three years pursuing a diploma in biomedical
engineering at Nanyang Polytechnic. Initially, I chose aerospace technology for
the salary and the job stability as an aircraft engineer, but my interest
shifted towards biomedical engineering when I became fascinated by the idea of
servicing machines that can prolong human life. This passion inspired me to
pursue my engineering degree at SIT, with dreams of designing affordable personal
medical equipment.
Growing up introverted, I’ve struggled with a fear of
speaking, which limited my ability to voice out opinions and expand my social
circle. To overcome this, I’ve made it a habit to introduce myself first and
making a good first-impressions when meeting new people by practicing in front a
mirror every morning, which has become a strength in my communication skills.
However, I still struggle with speaking to larger crowds, and I believe this
module will help me overcome that.
My goals in this module are to overcome my fear of speaking to large crowds by improving my public speaking skills and to refine my use of the English language so that I could write and speak in both formal and informal settings, with this goal in mind, I look forward to improving myself under your tutelage and wishing you the best of days ahead.
Best Regards,
Andy
Hi Andy,
ReplyDeletereading through your letter was an great experience! You shared that you volunteer with an organization to teach children in your neighborhood which i find very admirable along with how you decided to switch from aerospace to biomedical engineering with dreams of designing affordable personal medical equipment. The organization of the letter allows for smooth transitions from the different requirements that is expected from this assignment and makes the reader enjoy the process of reading through it.
Thank you for the feedback!
DeleteHi Andy, you get to be the student again, learning communication and logic instead. Your introduction could have been more accurate by including your specific degree.
ReplyDeleteI applaud you for your charity in dedicating your spare time to teaching children in your neighbourhood. However, your introduction should have been split into two sentences instead of being spliced into one.
You added a touch of openness and pride in your background, choosing to include the age gap in your third paragraph. You provided ample details in regards to your previous education qualifications, however, I can’t help but notice that your passion for biomedical engineering was different from your current degree in mechanical engineering. Apart from that, your point was concise and proves that you were a man of the people.
You have my admiration for trying to overcome your fear of speaking and being further hampered as an introvert. You’ve also managed to connect it to an example of you speaking to a mirror to serve as practice. You acknowledge that despite your progress, you still struggle with large crowds and that this is one goal you have for this module.
In this paragraph, I understood more about the goals you have for this module. However, your paragraph could have been split into two, starting from “with this goal in mind,”. This change will make your paragraphs less lengthy.
Thank you for the feedback!
DeleteHey Andy,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction letter is really clear and gives a good overview of your background and goals. I think you did a great job sharing your experiences and what you're hoping to achieve in the module. However, there are a few areas where you could make some tweaks to improve clarity. For example, the phrase “start watch a movie on the television with my dad” could be updated to “watch a movie on television with my dad” for smoother reading. Overall, it’s a strong introduction that effectively communicates your personal growth, challenges with public speaking, and aspirations for the course.
Thank you for the feedback!
DeleteHey Andy,
ReplyDeleteI just read your email, and it’s really well written. I like that you shared about your volunteering experience and how your academic interests have changed over time. It gives a clear picture of who you are.
I also thought the part about overcoming your introversion was great. It shows that you’re serious about improving yourself.
I feel like you could make the flow a bit smoother by tweaking certain sentences , but overall, it’s well executed!
Thank you for the feedback!
ReplyDeleteDear Andy,
ReplyDeleteThanks very much for this well expressed and highly informative letter. You provide a detailed explanation in all areas of the assignment brief, elaborating in a manner that really captures your reader's interest.
I'm particularly impressed by how you describe your interest in biomedical engineering being connected to your desire to design "affordable personal medical equipment." What a noble goal!
I also enjoyed reading about how you have overcome introversion. One of my youngest daughters is a severe introvert, so I can relate to this, and maybe I can suggest to her to adopt your method.
If there is anything to work on in a 2nd draft, it might be this phrasing: "...just start watch a movie on the television...."
Again, I truly appreciate the effort put into this fine introduction, and I look forward to reading more from you this term.
Cheers,
Brad